Update - Feederz/Victory Acres Pictures from April 13th, 2003

New Flyers added to site, look below! Thanks to Carl in AZ for the find! Click on the images for larger scans!

______ The story behind this webpage..... Back in 1987, I was looking for records in Arcata, California when I stumbled upon one of the most intense records I have ever come across...Mighty Sphincter's "The New Manson Family" LP. "Brilliant, eloquent, sublime, and just rocking!" I thought... I was determined to find the origins of this secretive band and their lyrics. But horrors! Mighty Sphincter was really from Phoenix Arizona! And my copy of their record was Scratched! Shocked and saddened, I decided that I would keep looking for an unmarred copy of this record at all costs. Nonetheless, I quested for 13 years in search of their records in stores throughout the northwest. Here are the results of my investigation. -------- Read a slightly dated interview with Greg Hynes that I just found. http://www.spontaneous.com/mightysphincter.html ------- After speaking with Doug Clark and reviewing some of the information on this site, I've updated most of the bio information and history of the band. Doug may send some flyers and photos for the site, so check back soon and hopefully they'll be up! PLUS new Mighty Sphincter T-Shirts are currently in production. Email me and I'll forward any messages to the band so they can quote a price to you, or contact Greg at the email address below. Search eBay for Mighty Sphincter Records and CDs! ------- The rerelease of New Manson Family and Ghost Walking is available now! email greg.hynes@cox.net for purchase details for the rerelease! Mighty Sphincter has rereleased "Ghost Walking" and "The New Manson Family" with the help of Tony Victor, Abduction Records and Relapse Record's Matt Jacobson. This rerelease is incredible and includes the song lyrics for all the songs. Get it immediately. You too can be healed by the powerful touch of the Almighty Sphincter.... Touch the bible for contact---->

Mighty Sphincter Message Board

There may be other stories about MS beginning, here is the one I know: According to Joe Albanese, The name "Mighty Sphincter" was conceived by Doug Goss and Doug Clark, some two years before the band actually formed. About '79 or '80 when the Dougs were thick as thieves. Joe invited the Dougs to his place for an "experiment". Neither of them knew the other would be present, so shortly after their posturing, Joe says that he assumed the obligitory role of mediator, being the host and instigator. Each Doug possessd a justifyable ego, so it wasn't difficult to grapple them each and give each a good stroke (Atakra note - this is according to Joe Albanese). Periodically, whenever necessary, Joe would accentuate the possitive aspects of D.C & D.G.'s combined chemistry's potential. Somewhere in the transition of "hissing" to "purring" he *pounced*with the suggestion of concocting the long overdue MIGHTY SPHINCTER ! ! !
because of the way it made them feel. The bass player and drummer were part of the Brainz... the AMOK compilation and/or The Teds 45 was their first release..."

The Brainz 45, was on Wakefield records, not the fledgling Placebo label, although the release was included in the Placebo inventory, it was recorded in 1979. This 45 had 2 songs , "elementary monster" and "terra". If anyone has this record, I still want it.

Bill was playing guitar for a pop outfit called the Out Crowd, & before that had played guitar in a couple of bands with the Nervous' former bassist, Vital Signs, Pebble Culture, and International Language. Bill was only part of the later incarnations of Mighty Sphincter, MS was Doug Clark and support, according to most info collected (Some references to Manic Depression have been made but not substantiated).

George & Bill used to run with the same crowd as Doug Clark. George and Doug were in a band called Keening at some point mid 80's and featured a now S.F. resident Jeff (something) who went on to form "Panda" a neo-psychedelic band with an album produced by Kramer of Bongwater, Shockabilly, and a ton of other Shimmy Disc bands...

Doug and Dan Clark started a band to open for the Consumers in '77 (Doug was maybe 16 at the time).

During this time Doug played guitar for a band called Victory Acres (named for either a local housing area or local cemetery) that also included his brother Dan on bass & vocals and featured Michael Ochoa of Nervous Gender fame. (The lead singer was Mary Clark who was married to Dan Clark) The rest of the band consisted of Meat Puppets' Chris Kirkwood on keyboards & Derrick Bostrom on drums. It must be noted that was an early incarnation only...

"The Exterminators," was the precursor to Mighty Sphincter, and the Feederz and formed in '76. Joe Albanese was 16 and Doug Clark was 14. This band featured 45 Grave members Rob Graves, and Don Bolles (Germs, 3 Day Stubble, Celebrity Skin...etc). The line up was Doug Clark, Joe Albenese, Doug Gauss and Dan Clark (who did vocals, and also sang for Sphincter once when they played as the Pop Sicles). Doug Gauss quit after the first show, Dan remembers him puking on the stage and Johnny P (then going by the moniker "Art Neuveaux") slipping in it (may he rest in peace). The Consumers drummer at this time was Johnny P. and Jimmy and Johnny lived together so both bands rehearsed at the same house (Satan's Disco). A wonderful old house in downtown Phoenix, drunken indians would walk right in and sit right down! Joe Albenese "quit" (I NEVER quit ANY band in my life, though I have been sadistically dethroned. I was a good asset but I think they regarded me as "not hard-core enough" or some crap - Joe A | "Joe was kicked out of the Exterminators because he was a hippy and wouldn't cut his long hair" - Doug Clark), and Rob Graves (Jimmy's friend from Detroit) replaced him.

The Consumers moved to LA and soon Don Bolles and Rob also left for the promised land. The Exterminators split and the Feederz were formed by Frank Discussion and Dan. Doug started at guitar but soon quit before ever playing. Doug also soon left for Hollywood and lived with Don Bolles at the famed Canterbury Hotel (it housed Black Randy, Geza X, Wylie, Pat Bag, and the Drummer for the Wierdos). Doug taught the Gogo's bass player how to play there. Doug returned by the end of the summer '78. Note that the Feederz recently started playing shows again and Frank Discussion is in rare form these days, I'll post a link to a recent show sometime in the future.

This really ends the first phase of Phoenix Punk, it's just '78, only two bands but they caused quite a stir and set the pace for what was to become a great scene in a few years. Doug had a band called The Aniliators... Joe Albenese and Jessie S. (Paris 42) sang, they opened the first Feederz show. Jessie was also in Destruction.
Jessie also invited Dan to a party, he said these brothers are going to play some Zappa songs and Dan should check them out. Sure enough sitting in the living room playing Cheapness by Frank Zappa were Chris and Curt Kirkwood (of the Meat Puppets)... Dan moveed to Hollywood with Mary and they formed Victory Acres with P. Cutler and M. Ochoa (Nervous Gender, Vox Pop). Dan and Mary lived with Wylie and Paul, and rehearsed at the Monitor house. Mary and Dan later moved back to Phoenix after hearing a tape called Elmo and the Electrocutioners, which was actually an early incarnation of the Meat Puppets that Wylie got in the mail. Back in Phoenix, the Brainz had broken up, so Victory Acres was reformed in Arizona with Cris, Derek, Doug, Mary and Dan. This was a great line up, (most gigs done with the band on acid). A live tape is coming out hopefully, recorded at the Salty Dog on the same same night Dan Clark introed 45 Grave. It took about a year for the Meat Puppets to get going, then Curt wanted his boys back. This is when Doug played in Maybe Mental and Mighty Sphincter was just around the corner.

Doug Clark speaks: (note that I'm paraphrasing this information from notes I took from a phone call, so some details may be a little off - Sam - ) "When I got back from living at the Canterbury in Hollywood ('77) there really was no punk scene in Arizona. The memories of all the bands from the mid-to-late seventies was pretty much unknown. Meanwhile I'd been living at the heart of the LA scene with Darby Crash and all the other neer-do-weels at the Canturbury (read more about the Canturbury in "We've got the Neutron Bomb" and "Lexicon Devil"). When I came back, I brought Albanese and others into the punk scene and reintroduced others to it as well. The idea to form Mighty Sphincter was solely my idea and here's how it happened (note that many others who have contributed to this site may not have a full memory of this era due to some pretty extreme drug abuse). Around 1980 I was working at a drag bar and the idea of forming a band that used aspects of drag mixed with my fascination with monster movies and characters seemed like a perfectly acceptable reason to start a band. I brought some of my friends like Joe and Greg into the fold and we started practising immediately, just in time to open for the Feederz who I had played with before. I brought Ron Reckless into the band because we wanted to make fun of all the incredibly annoying hardcore bands that started touring all over the country. It had become so that the emphasis wasn't on presentation or content of the bands or their songs of the time, but just on how fast you could play. So we started playing with all these crappy hardcore bands in order to make fun of them and to show that we knew how to play. Actually Mighty Sphincter was started to make fun of the entire punk scene in general, I mean if you look at the lyrics of every song on the first two albums, it's just that apparent. "Impetigo" was actually a song that made fun of one of the local girls who had to be "punk rock" and had gotten impetigo from a homemade peircing. Anyways, making fun of the entire punk scene worked. All of the band has always focused on making fun of everything, even ourselves. Christians, gays, punk rockers... Nothing was sacred when it came to being made fun of and we took every opportunity to do so, and still do.

"Placebo Records had heard Maybe Mental in the years past and had been less than impressed, but when Mighty Sphincter was formed a little later, Tony Victor was extremely impressed and immediately offered to put the album out on the Placebo Label." - Doug Clark - .

According to Joe Albanese, the Brainz preceded the Meat Puppets. This had to be so because when Joe left Phoenix in 1980, he left Dan Clark with a copy of his then current band's recent recording of "The God Wads," a predominantly instrumental band with a smatterring of female vocals by "Elaine DiFalco"...also on keyboards (she appeared later on as the predominant vocalist in "The Almighty Sphincter"). Shortly after having arrived in Portland, Joe received a phone call from Chris Kirkwood whose reason for calling was to tell Joe that Dan Clark had played him the GodWads tape, and that he had felt compelled to let Joe know what he thought, which was really unexpected and quite flattering for Joe. Chris Kirkwood also informed Joe that he had attending either the "Trout-o-rama" or the "X-o-rama", two punk shows featured in around '78 where the Brainz had played and Kurt Kirkwood hadn't been able to persuade his brother Chris to accompany him on bass... Doug Clark: "The Brainz were one of the prime influences that the Meat Puppets began playing at all." When Chris had seen Joe playing bass, he was "at that moment" inspired to play bass also. Joe was very flattered.

Ron Reckless is alive and well in North Scottsdale with his girlfriend and 80 cats, he spends his time painting pictures...

Dillon died of a heart attack in 1991.

There was also 45 Grave connection (most or all of that band came from Phoenix), as Dan Clark appears in a non-musical role of that band's Debasement Tapes CD, announcing them at a Phoenix club called the Salty Dog run by David Wiley, sometimes-keyboardist for Int'l Language, better known as the vocalist for an old California band called Human Hands &, before that, for a seminal Phoenix punk band called the Consumers -- whose recent posthumous LP on an Anaheim label includes thank-you's to Dan & Doug Clark & Johnny Precious. The Consumers' guitarist, Paul Cutler, wound up in 45 Grave & handled sound for an Int'l Language show at the Whiskey-a-Go-Go, opening for Wall of Voodoo). Paul Cutler is doing weird drum ambient stuff playing out now and again. His ex-wife and former lead singer Mary Simms (Dinah Cancer) is now in an L.A. band called Penis Flytrap. David Wiley was the lead singer of the Very first Phoenix punk band "The Consumers" with Greg Jones, Mickey Borens (45 Grave), Johnny Precious, and Paul Cutler (45 Grave, who's now in "International Metal Supply"). David Wiley was also in the L.A. band "Human Hands" who recently performed at the Garage in L.A.. There is some question on whether David Wiley was part of MS at any time during this period (If David Wiley was ever in Mighty Sphincter, it was a one-time-guest-shot or it was after I was "ejected" - Joe), but just to include, Wiley died of medical complications related to Aids in 1986. Dave Oliphant only appeared on the "In the Kingdom of heaven" release, contrary to previous erroneous statements on this website.

Joe Albanese speaks, "Now it's no secret that I used drugs throughout most or all of my experience with playing music, but I was always responsible and none of my drug activity ever caused me to miss a single rehearsal or performance or
recording or anything but because I had been stigmatized with the term "junky" well before I even was an addict. It was used as an excuse to fire me. I prided myself on being a model member and equally productive in any band especially once I discovered that heroin had been missing from my own chemistry and it's presence provided for me whatever I had been born without (I don't still believe that). Seriously though, if I, who believed my role in M.S. was as integral as any (and the same went for when I was in Victory Acres for two years in the rythm section of the decade with the unbelievably talanted Terry Kloth, who had been terminated from both bands), there had to be a reason. They just weren't being honest with me as to why exactly. I could give a rats ass about being fired from the Exterminators (Doug says it was because of joe's long hair) but I was setting a standard.... At least if you aspired to work with Danny or Doug...Which I definately did! So, yeah, I was yanked from something that I regarded as a source of much fulfillment and an ample worthwhile purpose.
So, yeah, I was pretty pissed. Inevitably later I was asked back, or to at least do a reunion show. As for my drug history, it's important to me that people realize that it's HISTORY! "No opiates or opiate replacement therapy" Once again, let me reitterate....HISTORY ! <Thanks Joe, it's pretty clear that this is true -Sam- >

Doug Clark is back in Phoenix, after an extended amount of time traveling and hanging out in places like New Orleans and living in Salem Oregon recording with a local speed metal band (there may be more on this in the future, but as of now it looks doubtful).

Robert Judd was in a band with Doug Clark called "Secret Ceremony". Ron Reckless played guitar, Robert Judd played keyboards and Doug sang. They opened for the Circle Jerks at a church in Phoenix where they dressed as pallbearers and carried a coffin up the stage... with Doug inside the coffin.

Members of Mighty Sphincter were for a short time in a band called Skeletones in 1976. Joe Albanese on Bass, Doug Clark on guitar and vocals, Rick Bishop from The Sun City Girls on keyboards, Brian Brannon from JFA also on
keyboards and vocals, and Greg Hynes from Sphincter on Drums.

Greg Hynes played drums & sang lead for the Teds, who had a 7", The '80s are Over, on Placebo circa '82.

After moving to Portland and the God Wads broke up, Joe joined an all lesbian band called Dutchboy Fingers. The singer and guitar player were the only two with talent, so Joe somehow managed fired all the useless members and added himself and two of the players from an other Portland band, Village Idiot. They were doing exceptionally well, but out of nowhere theydisbanded because Villiage Idiot wanted to reform. They ended up regretting that move. Joe and his wife then tried to outrun a curse by moving to Seattle, reasong that "Surely they could find some worthy players there." After the move, Joe nearly died of depression, no will, and heroin addiction before Elaine DiFalco (remember
Elaine? She was in the "Almighty" version of Sphincter but wasn't given any credit for it) hooked him up with the Circus Contraption, with whom he still works with and is consistently on tour. Joe says that he is more content with his current project that he has ever been with any other, and the pics on the site seem too mirror this attitude, check it out!

Some additional words of wisdom from Joe Albanese... "You know, one thing I have noticed about bands consisting of totally unique performers who posses a high calibur musicianship and intensely original creativity also posses an
abundance of flakeness and unreliability, and regretably an enormously unfailing desire to fail. How is it then that my current endeavour, Circus Contraption is different? Well, they all are very talented, original, highly creative, and extremely entertaining.
I think the difference is ambition, professionalism, self confidence, an education, and a sincere desire to succeed. In my
previous experience working with artful players, If one died, or quit or flaked out one way or the other, we folded. When Circus Contraption loses a player, fires one, or leaves for reasons beyond anyones control....we simply replace them. Sure the product varies to some degree, but it's a large production and a force to be reckoned with. WE ARE THEMIGHTY ! ! ! And we are an unstopable phenomenon.

The photo on the cover of the "This is Phoenix, Not The Circle Jerks" comp is Mighty Sphincter playing in an actual wrestling ring called the Mad Garden (short for Madison Square Garden), which lent its name to a JFA release, presumably on Placebo in 1985. It was hosting punk shows on weekends in the early eighties. There are a few recordings of shows at that venue floating around.

At a reunion show in 1993 at the Mason Jar, Mighty Sphincter reinacted a scene from a Marquis de Sade play that Greg had been acting in. Judd played "torture sounds," while Doug and Greg threw a naked old man (the actor who played the Marquis de Sade in the acting troupe) into a bathtub and murdered him.

Not long after the Kingdom of Heaven EP there was a new lineup (with a woman singer I believe) called Almighty Sphincter. They recorded a few songs that as of yet have not been released.

"Hitler Painted Roses" comes from a short story of that name by Harlan Ellison.

Robert Judd was the keyboard player on the "House of no Return" 7 inch recording, although the keyboard and effects were very minimal. Robert Judd also did a stint as one of the lip-syncers for Southpark.

A sort of cover of MS "when the clocks have run down" off the "kingdom" LP was briefly available by psywarfare the music was quite different, but you could hear it (Thanks to Psywarfare ). The site seems to have been put to rest now, but I think you might be able to find some other Psywarfare music out there somewhere.

Doug and Greg are the only ones on all recordings exept for the first recording with drumer Doug Goss (which has never been released). The recordings with Butler and Gully have also never been released.

Supposedly, Rob Zombie of White Zombie is a big MS fan, and apparently (from a reputable source) MS was one of the major influences of the early Marilyn Manson and the Spooky Kids... Which would explain quite a few things.

There was a fanzine out of 'Frisco that had a two page 'tribute' to Ron Rexless in it, they said he had died in a car accident in 1985, whereas the Ron is dead rumor was actually started when he left the band! Ron is alive and well and painting up a storm somewhere in Arizona! The fanzine also paid Ron a lot of compliments, misinformed, but nice. If anyone has a copy of the fanzine, please e-mail me!

Many thanks to Tubedisaster Dan, Robert Judd, Greg Hynes, Dan Clark, Pete Larson, and finally Doug Clark for their information.

A short feature on Mighty Sphincter can be found at Tangento's Psych Music Psenario.

The Phoenix New Times recently did a retrospective on Arizona music that has a little Mighty Sphincter information and lots of great pictures, read it here.

Westgate Necromantic created some spiffy Mighty Sphincter T-Shirts recently, check out their site. Leilah, the owner of Westgate wrote the lyrics to Dreams to Keep, Shooting Star and Overture at the Pearly Gates off of the newest Mighty Sphincter release called "The Holy Unholy."

Any info you have about this great band or perhaps scanned pics, e-mail me at: atakra@sirius.com

-Discography-

"In the Kingdom of Heaven" tape/EP... 5 songs ... In the Kingdom of Heaven, When the Clocks Have Run Down, Secret Ceremony, Hitler Painted Roses & When Hollywood Goes to Hell. Music by Dominic Royale (Doug Clark, presumably), lyrics by Yanok on the first 2, Royale on the last 3. Personnel -- Yanok, vocals/Royale, guitar/Hynes, drums & vocals/Wayne (Sleepy) Frost, bass. Recorded & mixed by Allen Moore (who engineered IL's & Precious Secrets' tracks on the Amuck comp). Plus "guest appearance by David Oliphant." The same David Oliphant who was in a Phoenix industrial/goth/whatever band called Maybe Mental & who recorded a couple of the bands on Amuck.

The Holy Unholy The first full-length CD from MS in many years has finally surfaced with a limited amount of 150 prints as well as each CD being signed and numbered by the band. The cover artwork was designed and Copyrighted by Leilah & Wendell of the Westgate gallery.

Amuck
This is Phoenix Not the Circle Jerks
More Coffee for the Politicians

Cover photo from the "This is Phoenix, Not the Circle Jerks" compilation

Bob Judd's most memorable Mason Jar show was when Ron was on stage with MS and during the second song Ron said to this college-type crowd really loud --"Boy does my pussy itch"... He then lifted up his dress to reveal a big strap on pussy which he then began to fuck with a gigantic black dildo! Many people left the place...

-Members-

These brilliant minds combined together create an absolute terror, certain to inflict permanent impressions, whether they be damaging or inspiring. A confrontation with the mighty Sphincter for any length of time shall certainly result in insanity.

Joseph Vito Albanese (Bass guitar, Cello, legs, bondage) (Currently working for Circus Contraption, check out: http://www.circuscontraption.com/ )

Often compared to a Jocko P., Stanley C., Wetton, a god.original bassist replaced later by Wayne Frost.

Doug Clark/Count Dominique (Guitars, Vocals, synth, Acrobatics, Delusions) Who makes Jimi Hendrix look dead, comparable to no man, living or dead, a god. Numberous people refer to Doug as the quinticential "Sphincter" (in some cases for more reasons than the band's brilliance). (whereabouts currently Unknown)

Ronnie Rexless?or (vocals) Commonly referred to as Mr. Show Business, a lyric genius, a god. Now doing a radio show now on KFNX radio. Has his own home studio, and plans on putting out old Mighty Sphincter material at a future date. He has been working on a book about the history of the Phoenix punk scene which has involved interviewing everyone from Killer Pussy to the guys from JFA... His ongoing project is called Venus Trull, and the
first CD is called Ur-ine-Analyisis.

Terry Kloth (Drum Kit) Who also was the drummer for JFA, a god. (currently living in North Carolina)

Anthony Cabara (guitar) who was also Rabid Rabbit and a band named Project Terror.

John Gillian (drums) (whereabouts currently unknown)

Bill (the thrill) butler (drums) (whereabouts currently Unknown)

Sean Gully (bass) (whereabouts currently Unknown)

Bob Judd (keyboards) (currently residing in Phoenix)

Bam Bam (of Jodie Fosters Army) (Drums) Currently working with Phoenix's Vox Poppers!

Bill (Bored) Yanok (vocals) (whereabouts currently Unknown)

Doug Gauss (drums) found dead in the Arizona desert in the mid/late 80's. (whereabouts known)

Debra Qualtire (backing vocals)

"I think there were at least one or two line ups after this... "- Dave O.-

-Other Mighty Sphincter (bootleg) recordings-

MIGHTY SPHINCTER 4/83 PRACTICE
MIGHTY SPHINCTER 4/11/83 DEMO
MIGHTY SPHINCTER 1984 DESERT SOUNDS DEMO
MIGHTY SPHINCTER 1984 PRACTICE W/RON OVERDUBS
MIGHTY SPHINCTER 1/12/84 WHISKERS WEST/PHOENIX,AZ
MIGHTY SPHINCTER 1/13/84 ACID TEST PRACTICE
MIGHTY SPHINCTER 1/23/84 MASON JAR/PHOENIX,AZ
MIGHTY SPHINCTER 1985 GHOSTWALKING PRACTICE
MIGHTY SPHINCTER 11/16/85 ELECTRIC RHINO/PHOENIX,AZ
MIGHTY SPHINCTER 6/7/86 MASON JAR/PHOENIX,AZ
MIGHTY SPHINCTER 1/31/87 METRO/PHOENIX,AZ
MIGHTY SPHINCTER 3/8/87 MASON JAR/PHOENIX, AZ
MIGHTY SPHINCTER 9/87 ALMIGHTY SPHINCTER DEMO

LYRICS

Mighty Sphincter-"The New Manson Family" NOT Produced by Alice Cooper according to Dave O, although the LP has some print saying it is. Released by Placebo Records' Tony Victor.....

-The New Manson Family- (Doug Clark)

The familys back together again, spreading blood and sin. We got more drugs, we got more guns, and this time we've won. Will take your daughters in the night, will teach them to fuck, will teach them to kill, with drugs in their heads and knives in their hands... Will send them out with Charlie's plan... Kill, kill the pigs, kill, cut out their eyes! Kill, kill the pigs, kill, rip off their ears! Creepy crawling throughout the night, murdering everything in sight. Death! Death to pigs, RISE! We're the new Manson family, armed and on LSD, we can do no wrong, everything is right. You can't kill us we're already dead, murder is just a game, and it's no wonder why your children come at you with knives!

-Drop Dead- (Doug Clark)

I really wish you would slip into your grave, Drop Dead. I know your best friends would love to see you Drop Dead. Until your dying day, two words left to say, Drop Dead! And I'll have no remorse for your dying corpse, Drop Dead! And when your casket's nailed, it will be so divine, Drop Dead! and I'll have no remorse for your zombie corpse...DROP DEAD!

-Blood Banquet- (Doug Clark)

I have existed for centuries living in castles built of your fears, and behind this mortal mask I carry out this deadly task in order to revive myself. I plunge into the stream of life that drains into the scarlet seas and holds the red wine of immortality.

-Good Morning- (Ronnie Reckless)

I'd like to blow your fucking head off, stick you with knives, cut your dick off, beat your head against the pavement, make you suck dog's dicks. Don't say good morning to me, don't say good morning to me. I'd like to see you raped in prison, tie you up, feed you my jism, make a mess of your fucking life, kill your kids, rape your wife, don't say good morning to me, I wish you were dead. I hope you have a good morning, I'll be fucking your wife, don't say good morning to me, no motherfucker.

-Bedlam- (Shakespeare, Greg Hines)

My mistress with a monster is in love near to her close and consecrated boner, while she was in her dull and sleeping hour, a crew of patches, rude mechanicals, that work for bread upon Arthenian stalls, were met together to rehearse a play intended for the theseus nuptual day. The shallowest thickskin of that barren sort, which pyrnmus presented in their sport, forsook his scene, and entered in a brake, when I did him at this advantage take, an asses hole fixed on his head, anon histhis by must be answered, and they cried as the wild geese that creeping fowlers eye rising and cawing at the guns report they sever themselves and mally rape the sky, and here over he falls, and murder cries.

-Rich and Dead- (Johnny Precious who played guitar & sang in his own band, Precious Secrets and drummed for Killer Pussy )

I'd rather be rich and dead and have you next to me in my bed. Perhaps we could go down to the lake in the misty morning fog to abbey road and take all of our angels to the dark places. I'd rather be Richard Dead.

-Genuine Argyle- (Doug Clark)

Hidden in cloth, intertwined by light, grew a power that no one really understood. He was different than all of us because he wore genuine argyle socks. It almost seemed there was a world in the depths of his genuine argyle socks, immortality boundless and free inside his genuine argyle socks. Secrecy prevents me from dispensing powers of my genuine agryle socks.

-Centerfold Murders- (Doug Clark)

Pages that come to life, portraits that bleed with lust, my hands reach inside, pulling back their bodies, tormenting their papery flesh, ending what life they have, walking through rituals, preparing my mind for ritual murders. Who's in the next issue? Centerfold murders. I'll flip right to the middle and capture their mind's eye. Rape the spirit caught in a photo, and then manifest their bodies. They shall be the canvas, for my next painting is in blood, the knife is my only paintbrush, in this gallery, centerfold murders. Who's in the next issue? Centerfold murders.

-Stretching Heads and Tails- (Doug Clark)

Stretching heads and tails, avoiding coffin nails, will we never fail, what's to prevail? ghosts of the past left us with these lies. How long will they last? Will they never die? Involuntary Sacrifice!

-Kings- Doug Clark, music by Doug C. and David Oliphant (although credit was not given)

The kings have all gone away and left me here to say I'v been left in charge, and I'll meet you in the graveyard. Bring your crystals, secretions from inside these walls at night, you hear the voices call, don't have fear of what you don't know, have fear of what you do know. Now lets dance in the courtyard or hang ourselves in my basement.

-Constrictions in E Major- (Doug Clark, Greg Hynes)

What keeps sodomites under the sausage pole? Who's gonna make your butt slam shut? What makes your rectum pucker? What makes the monkeys swing? What makes the birds chirp? What makes baboons burp? Who's gonna take you straight to hell? Who keeps it all under control? Sphincter, Mighty Sphincter! Who controls the big black hole? Who's gonna make your head grow fins? Who's gonna make you have a real nice time? Who's taking you to Disneyland?

Thanks to Psywarfare, Tubedisaster Dan, and Dave O. (e-mail pending) for all the info they have given me, and again If you have another story, more lyrics, pictures, or digitized video, I would love to see a copy. It really is a shame that this material is impossible to find.

There you have it, the "unauthorized" Mighty Sphincter Webpage, if you don't like it, make one of your own!