T H E Q U E E R S L o v e S o n g s F o r T h e R e t a r t e d Lookout Records #66: PO BOX 11374 Berkeley CA 94710 USA (Time wasted by IAMHOLTZ@oak.grove.iup.edu) @SONG: YOU'RE TRIPPING You suck Motherfucker I hate "white power" I hate your band Can't you see This ain't Nazi Germany Bring on the beers 'Cause we are the Queers You're tripping You're tripping Oh Yeah (4x) You suck Motherfucker Your face is ugly Your brain's in space Can't you see This ain't 1943 Bring on the beers 'Cause we are the Queers CHORUS @SONG: URSULA FINALLY HAS TITS When I first saw her, gee I liked that girl Even before her first pubic hair would curl Then old Hubey said hey dude check this out Man that 13 year old punk rocker's chest started to sprout And we all love her - Ursula We all love her - Ursula We all love her - Ursula Our attention's undivided... Dammit we're excited! 'Cuase Ursula finally has tits - Alright Ursula finally has tits - Outta sight Ursula finally has tits - Now she's cool Ursula finally has tits - Check it out dude Ursula finally has tits She went to the drug store and I saw what she bought Max-pads, tampons, and a training bra Eyeshadow, lipstick, smoking cigarettes I think there's something that she needs to get off her chest And we all love her - Ursula We all love her - Ursula Our attention's undivided... Dammit we're excited! 'Cause Ursula finally has tits - etc. @SONG: I HATE EVERYTHING I hate anchovie pizza Asparagus and peas Wanting my dessert And having to say please I hate Well I hate everything (2x) I hate the Grateful Dead Their hippi fans are such a waste Everything about them Even Jerry's ugly face CHORUS I hate working around the house I hate mowing the lawn I hate doing my homework I even hate this song CHORUS (2x) @SONG: TEENAGE BONEHEAD My folks had me committed just two weeks ago My best friend ran off with my girl - those two damn bozos Oh and don't you know it hurts But hey she ain't the first She ain't the first I was a teenage bonehead - Yes it's true I was a teenage bonehead - A-wah-hoo-ooh I was a teenage bonehead just because of you My parents kicked me out, now I sit here wondering My girlfriend sent me a postcard saying "Glad that you're not here" Oh and don't you know it hurts But hey she ain't the first She ain't the first CHORUS She never said goodbye to me Now I sit here wondering Where she is and what she's eating Oh and don't you know it hurts But hey she ain't the first She ain't the first CHORUS @SONG: FUCK THIS WORLD I called in sick to work today and stayed in bed 'til noon And now I just don't care what's going on outside this room Things aren't getting better My future's not too bright Fuck the world I'm hanging out with you tonight Me and you will walk around so pointlessly Smashing things, jacked up on way too much caffeine I'm really going nowhere I hate this shitty life Fuck the world I'm hanging out with you tonight @SONG: I CAN'T STOP FARTING Last night I had burritos and drank alot of beer And now a funny smell is eminating from my rear My girlfriend tries to hold her nose and falls into a swoon I got a problem and I don't know what to do HELP! I can't stop farting (4x) My flatulant ass sounds like 27 ducks I sit and try to take a shit outta luck My sphincter rears it's ugly head as I clear out the room I got a problem and I don't know what to do HELP! I can't stop farting @SONG: FELING GROOVY I'm feeling so sick, someone get me a beer My life is in shambles, you know I'm a Queer My head it really pounds and pounds Records just go round and round Mom and Dad they hate my guts The only girls I know are sluts Say I'm deeply troubled Oh I shake me head it just ain't so Daddy beat me with a hose Got kicked out of the Webelos Feeling so groovy I'm feeling so groovy I'm feeling so groovy it sucks Phone's disconnected, hey I'll never learn Just eleven more months 'til my income tax returns I'm really not that dumb ya know Got lots of beer and Tuinols Ran over Rin Tin Tin today His Alpo's mine now, hey it's great Say I'm deeply troubled Oh I shake me head it just ain't so Daddy beat me with a hose Got kicked out of the Webelos CHORUS Well I was walking down the street With my head held high Thinking everything was alright When a big fat bird came and shit on me head Man that's the story of my life Feeling so sick, someone get me a beer My life is in shambles, you know I'm Joe Queer I'm really not that dumb ya know Got lots of beer and Tuinols Ran over Rin Tin Tin today His Alpo's mine now, hey it's great Say I'm deeply troubled Oh I shake me head it just ain't so I've gone completely out of hand I want Dan Vapid in my band CHORUS @SONG: DEBRA JEAN One thing I know it's true - I need a little girl like you So I can stop hanging around So I can stop making that downtown trip, you know I'm starting to get old You know what I mean You can scream and shout and it'll be fine Keep in bed all day and blow my mind You can hold me tight and rattle my brain You can kiss me and drive me insane Give me funny little shivers down my spine When we kiss eachother every time What I'm thinking and doing never seem to work out They're always two diferent things you know Open your eyes and see that you're the only girl for me Debra Jean baby you're me queen And queens don't seem to speak To guys like me I was meant for you and you were meant for me (2x) One thing I know is true - I need a little girl like you Someone to stay with me and stick by my side And someone I can call my little butterfly Give me funny little shivers down my spine When we kiss eachother every time What I'm thinking and doing never seem to work out They're always two diferent things you know Open your eyes and see that you're the only girl for me @SONG: HI MOM, IT'S ME I know you think I'm just a useless stupid punk Because every night I come home drunk Hi Mom, it's me, the fuckin' little shit The ugly little monkey who used to suck your tit I know you think my band's just a waste of time Those beer cans you found in my room weren't mine Hi Mom, it's me, the fuckin' little shit The ugly little monkey who used to suck your tit @SONG: NOODLE BRAIN Sittin' drinkin' a brew, tryin' not to think of you I think you suck, you acted like a slut Did you ever really like me I think I know the answer Fuck you Well listen up - this stupid song's for you You're a noodle brain and I hate you You're a noodle brain you're ugly You're a noodle brain you're so stupid You're a noodle brain just like me Sittin' drinkin' a beer, feelin' like a stooge You're the reason I drank all that beer last night I think I know the answer Fuck you Well listen up - this is what I think of you CHORUS (2x) @SONG: I CAN'T STAND YOU (w+m: Ronnie Parasite) I can't stand politicians, I can't stand talk show hosts I can't stand prohibition, I can't stand David Frost Can't stand what you say or what you do What you say or what you do I can't stand you (4x) I can't stand the military, I can't stand my old school I can't stand freaks and fairies, I can't stand stupid rules Can't stand what you say or what you do What you say or what you do I can't stand you (4x) @SONG: NIGHT OF THE LIVID QUEER Am I going crazy or is it my empty head B-Face is so lazy all he does is stay in bed Going out with Nikki made Hugh's brain grow dim But Johnny Ramine knows I can't play faster than him GO GO Flippin' out I'm trippin' out I'm really shittin' now Night of the Livid Queer (2x) A.J. hangs around with total acne on his face Me and Lash ae swingin' hash over at Joe's place The Queers threw all the knuckle-heads out the fuckin' door B-Face better dean all of the puke up off the floor CHORUS @SONG: GRANOLA-HEAD Eating magic mushrooms ain't for me Or getting all screwed up on LSD Or eating bean sprouts all day long And smoking pot out of a bong Wearing flowers in my hair And having dirty underwear I don't wanna be a granola-head (2x) Whacked-out hippies' brains are scrambled eggs Ugly chicks with very hairy legs I think I'd rather be at home Listening to the Ramones Or hanging out and getting drunk With a bunch of useless punks CHORUS Or can't you see It's not for me Or eating bean sprouts all day long And smoking pot out of a bong Wearing flowers in my hair And having dirty underwear CHORUS (2x) @SONG: MONSTER ZERO I took her to the drive-in, she looked so sweet We started necking in the back seat She says she's crazy, well I'm crazy too I think that bonehead should stop sniffing glue I think she's nuts, I think she's really gone I think that she's on pot She's crazy, I'm lazy, who gives a fuck Oh Yeah... Monster Zero (4x)_ I think she's whacked out, she thinks I'm cheap I tried to kiss her but she fell asleep Thought I impresed her with my dad's car She's looking at me like a retard I think she's nuts, I think she's really gone I think that she's on pot She's crazy, I'm lazy, who gives a fuck Oh Yeah... Monster Zero (4x) @SONG: DAYDREAMING Yeah, I was thinking that my life was all through But now I ain't since I got you Oh honey, don't, fdon't you be so cool Stick with me, I'll stick with you Yeah, you taught me wrong from right And now I brush my teeth every night Oh honey don't, don't you be so cool I used to think some girls were so cruel Stick with me, I'll stick with you I used to think some girls were really the most But I know better now I always wished and I always hoped And they always let me down So don't say maybe 'cause I need you baby now Is this infatuation or just my imagination I'm daydreaming my lfe away 'cause of you Yeah, I love the funny clothes that you wear And the little things that you do to your hair Oh honey don't, don't you be so cool Stick with me, I'll stick with you Yeah, I was thinking that my life was all thorugh But now it ain't since I got you Oh honey don't, don't you be so cool Stick with me, I'll stick with you I used to think that some girls were really the most But I know better now I always wished and I always hoped And they always let me down So don't say maybe 'cause I need you baby now Is this infatuation or just my imagination I'm daydreaming my lfe away 'cause of you