THE I.P.D. by Faith Petrick I'll sing you all a song about a wondrous new device The nation's latest contraceptive plan That funny little object they call the IUD Has recently been changed to fit a man CHO: It's the IPD, the IPD It may not feel too good to you but it's not hurting me So every time the pain begins to fill your eyes with tears Remember I put up with it for years They tested it on whales and they tried it out on mice They used it in the poorer parts of town It's the cleverest invention since the automatic lift It's guaranteed to never let you down (CHO) It was proven to be safe for the average human male Though testing showed some minor side effects There were two died of infection and six were sterilized But only ten percent were too depressed (CHO: By the...) But you know some people are never satisfied So scientists are working once again They've got something even better than the good old IPD It's called the morning after pill for men It's the pill, it's better than the IPD It may not be too safe but we'll just have to wait and see So put away your worries and put away your fears Remember I put up with it for years It's the IPD, . . . @feminist @medicine filename[ IPDEVICE MC ===DOCUMENT BOUNDARY===